5 min freeMeeting someone newMeeting someone new, rehearsed out loud
2
people run this conversation
6 min
The shortest conversation
A friend of a friend said the two of you should meet. Neither of you knows what the other looks like, neither of you owes the other anything, and one of you has to speak first.
A2 · basicB1 · workingB2 · confident
Who you will be talking to
Meeting someone new, with 2 of these 2.
In whichever order helps. The first 5 minutes with a free partner cost nothing, so you can talk to two of them before you choose.
5 min freeMeeting someone new
5 min freeA stranger at a partyWhat actually happens
Five things people say before they start.
One of them is usually the real reason. What sits underneath it is what actually gets scored.
/01
“You both say your names and then look at the menu.”
The first thirty seconds
Working out that this is the right person, and then saying something that is not your name and your job. There is no script for it because there is no script for it, which is exactly why it is worth doing once where it costs nothing.
/02
“Three minutes in you are still talking about the person who is not there.”
The mutual friend runs out
You have one subject in common and it lasts about four minutes. What you reach for when it is finished is the whole conversation, and most people reach for their phone.
/03
“Everything you have said was an answer.”
Offering something unasked
Nobody asks a stranger a personal question in the first ten minutes. So the only way anything real gets into the room is if one of you puts it there without being asked.
/04
“You said it was nice to meet them and neither of you meant to do it again.”
Leaving it open
Not proposing a next time, leaving a door somebody could walk through. It is the difference between a pleasant hour and knowing one more person in this city.
Not the situation you need?
Bring the real thing: the job description, the date on the letter, the words the school used. Everyone who runs meeting someone new will work from what you actually walked in with.
How a first conversation worksWhat it costs
One price a minute, whoever you talk to.
A harder conversation simply runs longer. The shortest way to rehearse meeting someone new is 6 min.
You pay for the seconds you talk, and the minutes come off a balance you already hold. Nothing renews, and you are never sent a bill. Plans and refunds.
Your first 5 minutes
What 5 free minutes are for.
01
Do not prepare anything
You cannot. The skill is entirely in what you do with a silence you did not see coming.
The terms, in full
- Free
- 5 minutes
- No card asked for
02
Count who asked what
The score separates the questions you asked from the ones you answered, and the ratio is usually the surprise.
Paid for out of your free minutes
- The first thirty seconds
- The mutual friend runs out
- Offering something unasked
- Leaving it open
Questions
What people ask before they start.
Nearby
What people open next.
The rest of Social first, then everything else at the same difficulty.
All the situationsA friend, on a call
A2 · basicB1 · workingB2 · confidentThey ask how your week was and then wait. The four seconds after the question are the whole exercise.5 peoplefrom 6 minJust talking
A2 · basicB1 · workingB2 · confidentA flatmate at the stove, a friend from an online group, a traveller at the hostel. Nothing to decide, everything to say.4 peoplefrom 6 minLanguage exchange
A2 · basicB1 · workingHalf the hour is yours. A partner who waits for the word and never corrects it.3 peoplefrom 7 min
A2 · basicB1 · workingB2 · confidentThey ask how your week was and then wait. The four seconds after the question are the whole exercise.5 peoplefrom 6 minJust talkingA2 · basicB1 · workingB2 · confidentA flatmate at the stove, a friend from an online group, a traveller at the hostel. Nothing to decide, everything to say.4 peoplefrom 6 minLanguage exchangeA2 · basicB1 · workingHalf the hour is yours. A partner who waits for the word and never corrects it.3 peoplefrom 7 min