5 min freeHard feedbackHard feedback, rehearsed out loud
1
person runs this conversation
10 min
The shortest conversation
Your manager has a specific example and has stopped talking. What you say in the next ten seconds decides whether this is a conversation or a record.
A2 · basicB1 · working
Who you will be talking to
Hard feedback, with 1 of these 1.
In whichever order helps. The first 5 minutes with a free partner cost nothing, so you can talk to two of them before you choose.
5 min freeHard feedbackWhat actually happens
Five things people say before they start.
One of them is usually the real reason. What sits underneath it is what actually gets scored.
/01
“Your first word is but.”
Not defending immediately
The first instinct is to explain the circumstances. It is heard as not having taken it in, and it is what turns one piece of feedback into a pattern in somebody's head.
/02
“You agree in general and address nothing they said.”
Acknowledging the specific thing
Not the general point. The actual example they gave, named back, which is the only way to show you heard it rather than survived it.
/03
“You leave the meeting without knowing what actually happened.”
Asking for the detail
What exactly, when, who else saw it. This is not pushing back; it is the only way to fix something, and a manager who gave vague feedback is usually relieved to be asked.
/04
“It ends with you saying you will think about it.”
Ending with something concrete
One thing you will do, and when you will check back. Otherwise the conversation happened and nothing did.
Not the situation you need?
Bring the real thing: the job description, the date on the letter, the words the school used. Everyone who runs hard feedback will work from what you actually walked in with.
How a first conversation worksWhat it costs
One price a minute, whoever you talk to.
A harder conversation simply runs longer. The shortest way to rehearse hard feedback is 10 min.
You pay for the seconds you talk, and the minutes come off a balance you already hold. Nothing renews, and you are never sent a bill. Plans and refunds.
Your first 5 minutes
What 5 free minutes are for.
01
Do not prepare an answer
You cannot. The whole skill is what you do with something you did not see coming.
The terms, in full
- Free
- 5 minutes
- No card asked for
02
Read the first thirty seconds
The transcript makes it obvious whether you acknowledged or defended, and most people are surprised.
Paid for out of your free minutes
- Not defending immediately
- Acknowledging the specific thing
- Asking for the detail
- Ending with something concrete
Questions
What people ask before they start.
Nearby
What people open next.
The rest of Work first, then everything else at the same difficulty.
All the situationsSalary negotiation
A2 · basicB1 · workingB2 · confidentThe number, said once, without apologising for it or explaining it away.2 peoplefrom 10 minConflict with a colleague
B1 · workingB2 · confidentTwo teams, one deadline, and somebody who thinks this is your fault.1 personfrom 10 minUnhappy client
B2 · confidentC1 · advancedHe rang you, he is already angry, and he will not let you finish a sentence.1 personfrom 10 min
A2 · basicB1 · workingB2 · confidentThe number, said once, without apologising for it or explaining it away.2 peoplefrom 10 minConflict with a colleagueB1 · workingB2 · confidentTwo teams, one deadline, and somebody who thinks this is your fault.1 personfrom 10 minUnhappy clientB2 · confidentC1 · advancedHe rang you, he is already angry, and he will not let you finish a sentence.1 personfrom 10 min